DIY Elmers Glue Pore Strips

Last weekend, I took some Elmers glue and poured that shit on my husbands nose. Just for kicks. We don't have cable, so we have to make our own fun.

But seriously, kiddos, there's a pinterest rumor going around on one of those frugal living sites that says you don't have to spend money on those pore strips--you can make them with just one ingredient that you have in your junk drawer. Quick! Easy! Cheap! Just like...well, you fill in the blank.

Basically, the glue is supposed to adhere to the junk in your pores and when you peel it off, it doesn't hurt as much as the real strips do. Sometimes, when we need to feel gratified at our house, we like to use the real strips and then compare who got the better one after we pull them off. This is judged by who grew the better forest of pore-crap on the nose strip. Oh my god, how do we have friends?

Husband often wins, because he has some sequoias or redwoods or whatever the hell those big-ass trees in the national parks out west have (I don't know; I'm from Philly) on his de-foresting nose strip. Therefore, he was amenable to the idea of me smearing glue on his nose and then taking pictures of it.

So here's his nose beforehand:

Okay, maybe not so fond of the taking pictures part...

And here's one where he co-operated, or at the very least didn't know I was taking a picture:

And next was me. I can't pass up the chance to put stuff on myself and see what happens, especially for the sake of no good reason whatsoever.

This here's my nosie, and some weird shit going on with my eye apparently

Our fluffy little kitty decided that if noses were being shown off, she needed to be included as well. Hermia is not one to miss out on any action.

I dare you to look at my cute weedle nose and not declare me the winner of whatever is going on!!!

Then it was glue time. That stuff was so weird, It didn't work super well to pour some onto our fingertips and rub it onto our noses, as it would just kind of flake off when it came into contact with our skin. You can see this pretty well on my nose, because we used the free fingertip applicator that came with the pinterest claim.

In the name of science, or at least in the name of no good reason whatsoever, we used an alternative application method for Husband: take that bottle and just squeeze the living daylights out of it straight onto his nose.

In the interest of not getting stalked, I wasn't going to put pics of our whole faces up. But i just couldn't resist in this case. Look at that po' sad face!

Obviously, this was not one of our most brilliant ideas. The glue dripped and ran and it was next to impossible to get it to stay where we wanted. I think I was wiping glue drips off of Husband's nose until the glue was almost completely dried. 

Hermia had the easiest time. We just booped her little kitty nose with our finger and she wiggled her whiskers and then we wiped it off. Cutest thing ever. 

Boop!

It didn't take too terribly long to dry, and I was a little worried that it would just peel off in tiny little splinter-sized pieces, but it came off in a few good-sized chunks. You could see some shadows of where it had dried against our pores, but absolutely nothing came out of them attached to the glue strips. 

     Yummy. Oh, so yummy.

Basically, it was just a colossal waste of time. We had the exact same looking, forest-filled noses as we had before, and endured drippy glue all for naught. 

I love his nose.

Hermia was bored by now. But still oh-so-squishy.

I hate my nose.

So basically, while it was kind of fun to smear glue all over ourselves for no good reason, as well as getting to boop our cat's nose a few times, this myth was thoroughly 

Don't waste your time. However, please feel free to smear other random shit on your nose and see if you can find a "cheap, easy solution to clogged pores! This is how women who live in trees do it and everyone knows their nose pores have special healing power. It is the exact same stuff you buy at the drugstore but with no icky chemicals and no strain on your wallet! Why didn't I think of this?" If you can find such a substance, please submit your saga to our blog. 

As always, if you have any ideas, comments, concerns, songs, clean limericks, or carrier pigeons, please submit them in the comments section. And remember: if you're going to smear glue on your nose, remember to do it for NO GOOD REASON. 

Stained Nails

Pinned from this article, my first project tests the effectiveness of water, dish detergent, a toothbrush, a nail file, a washcloth, and hydrogen peroxide at removing nail polish stains. Commonly, polishes with blue, black, or red bases stain fingernails worst. It is advised that it is always good to wear a base coat, but seriously.

Who has time for that shit?

Further,  I don't know about you, but when I use a base or top coat on my nails, it does keep the polish from chipping, but the paint job tends to grow out and then catch on my hair or something and pull large peely chunks of the polish off at once. And when that happens, I must attack EVERY LAST POSSIBLE piece of remaining color until it is all gone. I start peeling like it is my central mission in life, seeing how big a piece I can get at once and frequently leaving a large pile of teeny little chips of polish on the table in the lecture hall.

So here's how my predicament started:

Cute as fuck, right?

Awesome nail polish; made those suckers feel like mermaids on my fingertips. But stained like you wouldn't believe. I scrubbed with nail polish remover, but for the rest of the day after I took it off, my nails looked kind of sickly.

give me a break, i had to use the other hand to take the picture.

So I put on an episode of Angel,

   

And I got to work soaking these little jerks.

After the soak, i didn't think they looked all that different. But it felt nice so I'm not going to demand my money back.

Then you're supposed to rub them with a washcloth. Because that was so exciting, I took a photo to document that I did indeed use a washcloth to wipe my nailses.

Then it was toothbrush time!

 Maybe there was still dried toothpaste in the bristles from this toothbrush's previous life, but there was an odd filmy layer on my nails after that. It felt effing weird.

And the stain persisted.

 I used a cotton ball to do the hydrogen peroxide step, and I thought this was the one that might actually do the trick. So I scrubbed...and scrubbed...and scrubbed some more.

 That actually did do something to lift the blue base stain from my nails. However, I wouldn't call it a magic fix, because I had to really work at it to get it to do anything at all. Plus there was weird white flaky crap around my nails after that; the peroxide probably dried my skin quite a bit.

 So, eventually, here was the end result. I went on to buff up my nails to sand down those gross peely edges and then rub some lotion onto my fingertips to help with the drying after this picture was taken.

 This wasn't by any means what I would call mind-blowing. I don't think it would be worthy to put in one of those beauty-tricks-from-around-the-world-articles about how women who live in tree houses in Paraguay use this and look at their glowing nails. Probably if you see pinterest posts about how this is awesome because cleopatra did it or some shit, you're getting pin-conned. BUT, because it did work and it was pretty cheap, I'm going to go ahead and call this one:

Have any ideas for what I should try for my next myth? Comment and let us know!
-Annie